2010年4月1日 星期四

journal 2

Comparing with the pictures, we can find there are slightly different. First the right one has been modify. Her skin is brighter than the other one. And the wrinkles on her face are disappear. Next, with the high tetchiness help no matter how fatty you are or how short you are. We just have to use the tetchiness named photo impact and click it. Then you can let your body look more slender and higher. This is the magical of this software. However these represent the photos are lying the readers. It didn’t give the correct message to us. That make me feel the photos are fake and unreal. There are two famous America stars Brad Pitt and his wife Jennifer Aniston. They hug each other sweetly, but no one knows the Brad Pitt have an affair with Angelina Jolie. However Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston still show us they are very lovely and sweet. Actually they are lying everyone, so it means sometimes photos can not show the truth to the readers. The truth has been hiding.
張貼者： 於

1 則留言:

  1. Ming Huei (John) Lin2010年5月4日 晚上11:34

    Hi Iris,

    Here are some mistakes I found in your article, and I hope you can revise them. Also, I noticed you tried to make some great points here, but 兩個sentences之間，或一個idea的開頭，你會漏寫一些相關的背景給讀者，希望你可以把他們改正。

    然後開頭的副詞們請加逗號，謝謝。


    1. Comparing with the pictures, we can find there are slightly different.
    第一、沒錯，compare with常出現，但這裏不用with
    第二、different請改詞性

    2. First the right one has been modify.
    請把modify時態改正

    3. Her skin is brighter than the other one. And the wrinkles on her face are disappear.
    請用are disappear有什們文法錯誤?

    4. Next, with the high tetchiness help no matter how fatty you are or how short you are.
    We just have to use the tetchiness named photo impact and click it.
    第一、no matter how fatty you are or how short you are用得很好, 但是第一個句號有問題。另外請用with the help of technology

    5. Then you can let your body look more slender and higher.
    人不用higher

    6. This is the magical of this software.
    magical詞性不對

    7. However these represent the photos are lying the readers.
    你的lying少了個介系詞

    8. It didn’t give the correct message to us. That make me feel the photos are fake and unreal.
    你的make動詞時態不對

    9. There are two famous America stars Brad Pitt and his wife Jennifer Aniston. They hug each other sweetly, but no one knows the Brad Pitt have an affair with Angelina Jolie. 你必須說出祂們的hug是拍照起來的，而且時態第二句的時態不對，時間點也要提到時at that time

    10 However Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston still show us they are very lovely and sweet.
    這個lovely不是相愛喔

    11 Actually they are lying everyone, so it means sometimes photos can not show the truth to the readers.
    lying有同上的問題

    12 The truth has been hiding.
    hiding動詞形式不對

    回覆刪除

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